When the Top of the Mountain Seems Impossible to Reach

“I can’t do it!” We’ve all muttered these words to ourselves at some point in our lives.

When something looms over us - whether it be something related to work, family, friends, or our health - we sometimes wonder just how we are going to move forward.

Just thinking about how we are going to get from point A to point B can be extremely stressful - almost paralyzing at times, causing us to shut down completely.

Rather than moving forward, we just sit at a standstill, while we continue to tell ourselves, “I can’t do it. I just can’t do this.”

So how are we supposed to do it? How are we supposed to move forward when life can become so stressful at times?

I think the answer lies in the moments surrounding the hike I took today with my three boys.

PUT ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER

Our youngest child, who is turning 5-years-old at the end of August, loves the view from my in-laws’ house in North Carolina. It is a beautiful rock face, called Whiteside Mountain, which I only wish I had had enough courage to climb in my youthful rock climbing days.

And today, we were going on a short and fairly easy hike to the first lookout on that mountain.

In our youngest child’s mind, he could only see that we needed to reach the top of that mountain - the one at which he stared in awe, summer after summer, from my in-laws’ back porch.

Knowing that he was hiking up the side of that beautiful mountain today, he began the hike with a smile on his face.

But as the terrain turned a bit rocky and uneven, what was still truly a steady climb transformed into a mountain that seemed  “impossible” in the mind of our 5-year-old.

Before I knew it, the words, “I can’t do this,” were muttered from his cute little, stubborn lips.

“Yes, you can, Buddy!” I kept telling him. “Stop looking up ahead at how far you have to go. And stop thinking about it. Just step one foot in front of the other.”

I knew he could do it. He easily hiked this path last year, without any hesitation. Today, he had just made up his mind that he couldn’t do it.

“You can do it. Just take one step in front of the other,” I kept saying to him as I held his little hand.

He hiked for a few more minutes and then stopped, folded his arms, and stared back at me with an angry pout.

“I can’t do it,” he said again.

“Yes, you can,” his brothers and I insisted.

The little guy hiked some more. And then he stumbled over a root while he was holding my hand and fell to the ground.

The tears began to flow.

“You’re okay, Bud. You’re almost there.”

And so feeling like the worst mom in the world, after he had fallen, I carried my sweet boy for the last few minutes up the path - herniated disks in my back and all.

Soon enough we reached the first lookout.

“Ahhhhh...Halleleujah!” It was like angels were singing.

We made it. More importantly, he made it. Our little boy couldn’t believe what he had done. A goal that had seemed extremely daunting to reach at first had been accomplished.

We took some pictures of the breathtaking view and turned around to head back down to the car.

As I continued to hold our little hiker in my arms, realizing that I would probably be carrying him all the way back down the mountain, he asked me to put him down.

He wanted to walk.

And he raced back down the trail, with a smile on his face.

When we got back in the car, our little guy said, “That was so fast. Why was the way back down the trail so easy, Mom?”

“Well, the way up isn’t always easy,” I explained. “The path is on a bit of an incline. It’s rocky at times and full of roots on which you might trip. But when you reach the top, it’s a pretty great feeling. And when you head back down the path, it seems easier because it’s not as steep. And you can look back and think about how great you feel for accomplishing all that you have accomplished.”

OR...BE LIKE MS. PAC-MAN

While there are many tasks that seem impossible to accomplish in our children’s eyes - whether it be a hike...or a school paper or project...or achieving the perfect grade in a class...or mastering a particular skill - we all can relate to what our children are experiencing when trying to obtain a goal or get through a particularly tough moment in time.

We can relate because we’ve been there before.

I’ve been there many times.

I’ve been there as I’ve had hundreds of student essays to grade in one weekend, or I've had my own writing deadlines to reach. Or I’ve wondered how I’m going to get through a particular week or month, just because we have so many activities taking place. Or more seriously, I've wondered how a family member is going to get through a particular health issue or how my family is going to move on when a loved one passes on.

There are many moments that have stopped me in my tracks.

Sometimes it's not just serious moments; it's also busy times that cause me to stand motionless.

For example...when I decided to go back to school this past spring.

After sitting through the first class as the "old lady" among all of these college seniors, I immediately decided that I had made a mistake after reviewing and listening to the course requirements.

At the end of class, I introduced myself to my professor and told her that it was lovely to have met her, and it sounded like her class was going to be phenomenal. But unfortunately, I was going to have to drop the class.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, I’m a teacher, a writer, and a mom of three. I don’t know what I was thinking in going back to school right now,” I told her.

She looked at me, paused for a moment and said, “You know what? You are not dropping this class. You are not going to look at the big picture right now. You’re not going to look at the end. You are going to just show up every week and tackle this course, project by project. And you’re going to just chomp away at it. You’re going to be just like Ms. Pac-Man.”

I smiled, took a deep breath, and said, “Okay.”

And so that was that. I became Ms. Pac-Man. I chomped away. I worked hard. And I proudly and confidently finished the course.

So what's your visual going to be when you just don't know how to move forward?

Whether it’s the visual of being a yellow circle chomping away at smaller circles, trying to avoid hungry ghosts, or it’s the visual of hiking up a mountain, putting one foot in front of the other, find the visual that works for you in tough times. And help your children find a visual too. Their little lives can be just as stressful.

And don’t forget - MOST IMPORTANTLY - as you chomp away or put one foot in front of the other, don’t rush to get to the end. Enjoy each bite and each footstep along the way.