Finding Light Between the Shadows

By Chrissie Ferguson

This past year has been filled with…

Ups and Downs.

Joy and Sorrow.

Full Hearts.

& Heartache.

But no matter what, consistency has remained.

I have always turned to prayer.

Prayer, in fact, has become an important part of my daily routine.

Every morning, before I wake up our boys and get ready to head off to school,

I look forward to my 30 minutes of quiet and alone time.

I take a shower. 

I sip my coffee.

I sit on the couch.

Our big yellow lab, Chewie, snuggles up with me, thinking he’s a lapdog.

And yes,

sometimes I even grade those papers that I just couldn’t stay up to grade the night before.

But most importantly, I pray.

I pray for my friends and family by name.

I pray that I will always find the good in those who surround me.

I pray that I will let go of that which I cannot control.

I pray for positivity and patience.

I pray for peace.

BUT —

I am only human. 

And some days are better than others.

Some days, the pain is just too much to bear.

Some days, I cannot “give it up to God.”

Some days, I cannot forgive those who have hurt me or my family.

Some days, my heart is so heavy that it literally hurts.

Some days, I am tired of being the one who always strives to be the bigger person.

Some days the feelings are just so…well…BIG!

The holidays, in particular, can be especially difficult. This is a time when those feelings of sadness, anger, and loneliness are magnified for many of us.

Why do we feel this way, especially during the holidays? I don't really have an answer.

But I think it’s simply because, as we surround ourselves with others, we think about A LOT.

We think about who is missing. 

We think about what is missing. 

We think about the way things used to be. 

And that emptiness hurts. 

But, what if we did something different today and throughout the coming holidays? What if we did our best to set those feelings aside?

I’m not saying to forget about those we love or to forget about all that might feel lost. 

But I am wondering what today might feel like if we gave those unwanted feelings their own seat at the “kids' table,” and instead, we did our best to be present. 

What if we listened to these words in Philippians 4:8 today?

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

I have so many feelings this Thanksgiving. And they are BIG feelings, believe me. 

But this Thanksgiving also reminds me of the many blessings in front of me. Today, I am surrounded by beautiful mountains. Today, I have a roof over my head and a crackling fire that warms our family. Today, I smell delicious food and eagerly await a feast. Today, I am surrounded by a loving husband and three boys who I am beyond proud of. Today, I am blessed with hugs from my nieces and nephews. Today, I laugh with my in-laws and feel the warmth of their love. And today, even while my brothers and my parents are far away from me, I feel their love, too. 

I challenge you to do the same.

In fact, I believe that we can do this together.

Let's not let the big feelings take hold.

Instead, let’s give thanks and be grateful for what we have and the people who sit among us today.

Together, we can find the light — the light between the shadows.

Just open your eyes. The light is there.

It always has been.

And it always will be.